Well, it’s that time again. Time to test students to see which instrument they would be great at! It always seems there are parents that give some push back on their child joining band or orchestra. It might be that they may not have the discretionary income to afford such an adventure. Or maybe their child is already doing several other activities and they just can’t handle one more in their schedule. The worst is when I hear this: “My child is always changing their mind. They never stick to anything.” It always feels like they are setting their child up for failure with such a statement. Rather than calling them out, I do an activity of questions that reveals the need for music education in their child’s life and calms any doubt in their minds.
There are four techniques at work here that will overcome any objection before one is mentioned.
- Creating the need ( I call it “Revealing the Need”)
- Demonstrating ROI (Return on Investment)
- Leading with benefits and not features.
- Getting the parent to agree.
Although I have done this hundreds of times and have been very successful, rather than a list of what to do, I am going to share with you one of the most powerful conversations I had with a parent.
At a rental event on a hot August evening in an intermediate school in Dinuba, California, I had this conversation with a parent.
Me, “How can I help you?” I asked.
“Yeah… I am not sure if this is a thing my daughter needs to do. She always changes her mind and she can’t really stick to one thing.” said this young single mother who looked like she had just finished a twelve hour shift at the local hospital.
Me, “Hmmmm….”, I said, grabbing my chin considering where to start the conversation. “Do you mind if I ask your daughter a few questions?”
Leaning forward looking very interested she said, “Sure.”
“Hello young lady.” I said with a smile. “What is your name?”
“Ana.”
“Hello Ana. I am Mitch.” I said as I focused on her, but making sure her mother could hear us. “Do you go around the house humming, singing, twirling, or tapping on things?”
Shyly she responded, “Yeah..???? as she shrugged her shoulders and looked downward.
“Great! Which?”
“Mostly singing”
“Is it something you heard before or something you make up?”
“Mostly things I have heard before, but sometimes things I make up.”
“Do you hear music in your head?”
“Yeah…. All the time.” She said as she started to look up and really start to become engaged.
Now I turned to the mother, “how about you mom? Do you hear music in your head?”
She responded in deep thought, “yeah… sometimes, but mostly not at all.”
“Wow! See. Not everybody hears music in their heads. Your daughter is special - let me share something with you.” I started to explain as I leaned in. “She hears this music in her head and she is now at the age in her development where she wants to get what is inside her out and explore it. Now, no one really knows what that looks like until she starts, but I can tell you one person who does and that is that person over there.” I said as I pointed to the music teacher. “They see this a hundred times a year and they know best on how to guide your child on this journey.”
I continued, “That’s what this is. It’s a journey and this is just the beginning. Now, can I ask you one last question?”, I asked the student as I held my index finger up signaling one last question.
The child said, “Sure.” as she is now fully engaged.
“Did your mother make you come here tonight or did you bring her with you?” I asked with a huge gaping smile on my face as I moved my eyes to and fro between mother and daughter.
The mother chimed in this time. “Oh… she reminded me every day for a week. We weren’t going to miss this.”
“See…!” I exclaimed. “She wants you to come along on this journey with her! And how many times we as parents come across such an opportunity to do something together with our children? Not often, right? And as they get older, it will become fewer and fewer.”
At this point I saw something I did not expect to see; the mom’s shoulders lowered, her look of active resistance melted away and tears began to flow from her big brown exhausted eyes.
She started to wipe her eyes as her daughter moved toward her for a hug. She explained tearfully, “I work two jobs and hardly have time to even catch my breath. But I love her so much. She is my only daughter and my world. We were looking for things to do together.”
I leaned in and placed my hand on her shoulder. I continued, “This is just the beginning and see, you guys can do it together. She is going to make so many new friends and do some amazing activities. I am so excited for you.” We then soaked in the moment and started to talk about renting an instrument.
I think I really turned the corner that day to where this is the foundation for my approach every mouthpiece testing season and rental season. Through this conversation, we overcame any objection by revealing the need by revealing the student’s need to physically explore the music in their heads. We demonstrated the return on investment by emphasizing the internal and social benefits of music education, and most importantly, we got the parent and student to agree by recognizing the need for music education in their lives.
Lastly, if you would like to know where this strategy originated, there is an interesting story about my personal experience in my book, Bandherence: Music Programs That Stick. For more information, please click the link.
Mitch Garcia
Educational Representative
Leave a comment
All comments are moderated before being published.
This site is protected by hCaptcha and the hCaptcha Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.